Pain

my whole world was pure white

laughter cleaned it

music lit it

everything was so perfect

until there came a storm

and there was no shelter

the thunder painted my world black

bit by bit

my tears came out in the form of blood

and my world grew redder and blacker

till i had not a damn clue

who i was

i roamed around looking for refuge, when there was none

black was the terror

red was my fear

i was so muddled up in these two

i forgot to look for the white that i first lived in

Neferet

the grass is damp,the trees like silhouettes

in the dark hours of the night rest was needed

walking forever into the darkness

then he hears it, a voice from heaven

he turns to face the most beautiful woman he has ever seen

she calls him, smiling, her eyes shining

he walks towards the goddess, mesmerized

he trips, his hands stopping his fall, palms on the grass

the smell hits him like lightning, the smell of blood

he faces the goddess, who holds his face comfortingly

she leans, and the man holds his breath

then, he screams, blood falling everywhere

on the damp grass, damp with blood

dampened more by his blood

the creature stands up, walks away

evil all around her

the vampire

Neferet

TORN...

I was shouting at her,

at my best friend,

when she was right.

I felt like smashing the receiver into the wall,

I wanted to hit my head on the floor,

because she said that she would never speak to me again,

because I had done the wrong thing.

It was equivalent to breaking the law.

She wanted me to choose:

her friendship over something I may never do again.

And there I was,

shouting at her for the very first time.

I wanted to tell her how it was tearing me into pieces,

this decision.

I don't trust myself enough,

I trust her more than I trust myself,

I love her more than I love myself.

I agree with her;

I am weak, pathetic,

I do what I can to reach the top of the food chain.

And I ignore dangers..

She told me to choose:

her over popularity,

or else she ceases to exist.

She did that to save me,

from dangers that may never leave me alone,

once they start to follow me.

Yet I can't promise, choose, or swear,

because I am addicted.

Addicted to this joy I get,

from doing the wrong thing.

I screamed at my best friend,

I refused to listen to her,

and now I feel torn,

with a gash so deep that it may never heal...

LIFE

Life is a long road,

on which you walk always.

While walking,

you meet many friends on the way.

Some walk behind you,

following you for advice, safety, and your affection,

those people are friends.

Some you walk behind,

seeking for the same as your followers,

those people are your elders, your family.

Only one walks with you,

your life-long partner, your friend and companion in your journey,

who give you what you want,

and takes what you give.

If this road was straight, with no change,

life would be pleasant, and will stay the same always.

This road you walk on had unexpected twists and turns,

which you never seem to see as you near it.

You must not let them disrupt your journey,

let them come, and let them go.

Watch them carefully, so the next time they come again,

you will be more prepared.

Life starts of as a smooth uneventful path,

which gradually turns more rough and bumpy,

but in the end,

it always turns out to be the way it started.

Life is ever changing, ever lasting,

a wonderful journey in everyone's lives.

PAIN, FIRE, & HEARTBREAK

I thought I would never write again.
The fear of reality tied me up,
and did not let go,
until heartbreak was what happened to me.

I am surprised I actually found the courage to do this.
After all the hatred my pen and notebook begot,
I should lock myself in a closet, and stay there forever.
Still, here I am, in the midst of hatred, writing.

I write words of pain coming from love,
love, which makes me, forget everything.
When this emotion was beautiful, I forgot my skill,
now that I am shattered, I wield my pen again.

The words I write now I do for a reason,
to tell the world what it is to love an angel,
and still love that soul when angel turns devil,
and still love despite all the odds.

There was once this person who came to me,
a person who I hid my true self from,
and showed a mask made out of false personality,
the mask which led to pain unbearable.

Just when I decided to be myself,
the other changed, not even knowing it,
and there I stood, filled with fear,
and pain so horrible I could not move.

Forget, I said, crying to myself,
yet I made the worst of mistakes,
and that soul flew farther away,
trying to keep me out of sight.

For a while, I managed to forget through fear,
and smiled away to hide my pain,
but then ghosts haunted me day and night,
and once again, I fell, hard.

Now I simply watch in silence,
and note every reaction down on my heart,
for now I am numb to everything but pain,
and this will keep me dead for life.

Every day I burn in hell,
every night, saying one name, I cry myself to sleep.
Though many jeer me for loving in pain,
I will never be free of this love again...

OBSESSION

Somebody,

please help me.

I put down my troubles,

and I see one thing:

severe obsession.

Obsession that is driving me crazy.

It started with a light heart, a happy feeling,

a big smile, an unusual blush.

Then it turned into a permanent tattoo

on my brain, on my soul,

a drug to keep me from falling as I walked towards never ending joy.

After a while, that was all I saw.

That was all I wanted.

That was my life.

It became, what I thought was, love itself.

I was so wrong, so very wrong.

My want, my life, my love revolted against me.

It ran away from me.

This silenced me, and made me forget it, for while.

then a new feeling hit me,

twins who were the opposites of each other.

I craved for what I hated,

I wanted what threw me away,

I became obsessed with an obsession.

Two Ends Of The Spectrum...

I lie awake for hours together,
I can't sleep because he haunts me.
I do not know why I am there with him,
when, in reality, I am here.
His eyes burn me, his look tortures me,
yet I crave for those very eyes and that painful look.
He gives me grief, but joy too.
He gives me sorrow, but happiness too.
He is the reason I want to run away, but he is also the reason why I never leave.